


Just This One

by DPKhor



Series: We Need To Talk [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 20:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5388674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DPKhor/pseuds/DPKhor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla and Laura finally decide to talk about their strained relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just This One

Carmilla scooted over to where Laura was now sitting up.

"What did you want to talk about, cupcake?"

Laura shot her a look and Carmilla sighed.

"You know what I want to talk about," Laura said.

"I'm not a psychic."

"Us. I want to talk about us," Laura huffed. How could one person be so infuriating and endearing at the same time?

"Well, we do have some - many issues to discuss," Carmilla nodded, pulling her knees to her chest. She really didn't want to talk about this. It made her feel nauseated and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," Laura spoke up after some time. "About the whole thing with Mattie. And Vordenberg. And your mom. And the anglerfish."

"So am I," Carmilla replied. "I've been thinking a lot about everything - what might've been, what couldn't be."

"Mattie didn't deserve to die," Laura said indignantly. "I broke your trust. I told Danny her secret and got her killed."

"It was her or Xena. You weren't the one that made the call - it was her," Carmilla scoffed. "It seemed kind of useless, though, seeing how she ended up dead anyway."

Silence.

"Sorry," Carmilla apologised, wincing at how out of character she sounded. "It's just...I get it now. You wanted to protect her the same way I wanted to protect you. And even though I failed, you still lived and you saved me from Vordenberg."

"Well, if I didn't try to be someone I wasn't, we wouldn't be in this mess. Silas would still be here, Danny would still be here, Perry, LaF, J.P, Kirsch...everyone would be here, alive. There wouldn't be an ancient demigod to deal with and there wouldn't be universal forces threatening to destroy us," Laura said. "I just ruin everything I try to fix."

Carmilla frowned.

"Hey, creampuff, failing just means you're a step closer to success. Yes, I won't deny that you caused much more trouble than it was worth but I think I'd have hated it more if you stopped trying so hard," she assured the girl. "If you hadn't tried anything, we wouldn't be here and you'd probably be dead."

"But still, I helped kill Mattie," Laura insisted. "Your sister. I made you choose. I pushed too far. I helped Vordenberg take over Silas. I almost helped him kill you. And Danny...if she didn't try so hard to help me then she would be alive."

She laughed drily. "I just...it's just that throughout everything that happened, I don't think I felt more afraid than when Vordenberg had that sword above your head."

"Laura..."

"All I could think of was that I couldn't lose you, too. Because if I did, I'd have lost my best friend, my soulmate, my smile, my laugh...my everything," Laura said. "Nothing else seemed to matter, then. I just had to save you."

"I honestly thought you didn't care anymore," Carmilla confessed. "Vordenberg was listing off so many reasons why you wouldn't destroy the charter and he was right about you - but then, you did it and all I could wonder was...was it worth it? Was I worth it?"

Laura never felt a stronger urge to kiss her but she knew that their relationship couldn't work out this way.

"I won't say I forgive you for everything you did," Carmilla said. "Because that takes much more time than what passed but I just want you to know that even if you are an annoying shrill of a girl, I'll still stand by you."

Laura clenched her jaw. "So many things happened. My dad always shielded me from the dangers of the world. I never thought...it would be this bad. I guess the world isn't much of a fairytale after all.

"Carm, I just want to apologise again. I know it won't make any difference but I just want to. I was wrong to think that I could change so much of you in such little time. It's just that I was so used to having my plans work out that I forgot how to put myself in others' shoes. In fact, I was wrong to expect you to throw away everything for me. You were right. I demanded and demanded but forgot that you were a person, too. And I'm sorry for that."

Carmilla reached over, taking her hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

"I'm sorry for lashing out, too."

They sat in tense silence.

"So what does that make us now?" Laura asked.

"Cupcake, I hope you understand that this...'us' doesn't work out," Carmilla said softly. "I really want to make this work, I do, but..."

"I get it."

"...You just found me in the wrong universe, that's all. There had to be one universe out of millions where we don't end up together. Here and now just happens to be it," Carmilla said. Laura was crying and the vampire immediately pulled her into a hug.

"Maybe not here and now," Carmilla whispered. "Maybe in another life - you and I will have the relationship you always wanted, Laura."

"In another life?" Laura asked weakly, but hopefully.

"We'll meet again in another life," Carmilla promised.


End file.
